Press Tour, Day Seven: Drug habits are hilarious

It’s always good to know that people in Hollywood can poke fun at themselves. Well, at least some of them.

Asked what he thinks about reality shows, Aaron Sorkin, creator and executive producer of NBC’s Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip, said “I do think that television is a terribly influential part of this country and that when things that are very mean-spirited and voyeuristic go on TV, I think it's like bad crack in the school yard.” Sorkin was busted for possession of crack and other drugs in 2001, so it was no surprise when he then wondered out loud: “Why did I use that word?” Later, Matthew Perry, a former prescription drug-addict himself, responded to a question about playing a character that resembles Sorkin, his ostensible boss: “I think it’s most like bad vicodin in the schoolyard.” Overall hilarity ensued in the room. Perry’s co-star Bradley Whitford later mused: “I have never wished I had a drug problem before.”

Staying with the self-deprecation note, when Perry was then asked why he decided to return to series TV so quickly after Friends, he said “because this script was so good and The Whole Ten Yards was so bad.”

More notes from press tour to come but I need to go drink now.

Press Tour, Day Six: Ohmygod, Grey's!

Today we visited the set of Grey’s Anatomy and I lived at least the initial part of the fantasy of many American women: I looked Patrick Dempsey in the eye and had a conversation with him. Obviously, I didn't get follow this encounter through to its preferred conclusion, but it was a good start. As my friend said, “if you tell me he’s a midget, I’m going to kill you.” This is because I had previously told her that David Krumholz (from CBS’s Numbers and the movie Serenity) is pretty much a midget and even if she puts platform shoes on him, she still probably wouldn’t want to sleep with him. I could be wrong about this, however, because Krummy had quite the hot young girlfriend, as did James Woods, who I find disgusting, so what do I know? Anyway, Patrick was quite doable, so no worries women of America.

I tried my very hardest to learn whether the delicious Eric Dane aka Mark “McSteamy” Sloan (link to http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0199312/for more info) would be coming back to the show, but I was shut down by Grey’s creator Shonda Rhimes’ absolutely no-leaks policy. Damn! But me and other fans were encouraged that the martinis at the ABC party were named McDreamy and the extra dirty ones were named McSteamy. To me, mainly because I am desperate and I have told the exec producers this several times, this was a very good sign. Or if nothing else, a very good drink.

Other than Patrick, I also met Sandra Oh, Ellen Pompeo (very briefly and she is no skinnier than any of the other anorexics that populate this town but absolutely adorable. See Old School for proof), Kate Walsh (she plays Addison Shepherd, wife of McDreamy) and Katherine Heigl, who is absolutely gorgeous and like Virginia Madsen, very skinny in real life, except with some boobs. I chatted with Peter Horton, who directs the show and we bonded over our mutual ownership of Keen shoes, and Betsy Beers, one of the exec producers. We then got to look around the set, which is vast and quite realistic. All in all, it was TV heaven, even though I am supposed to be a cynical reporter and all that. I don’t want to live in Hollywood but there are moments when I sure like visiting it, and this was one of those times. The scant hour we were granted was nowhere close to enough. I needed like an hour of solo time with each cast member. So much stalking, so little time.

I will say that touring a set makes you realize what people are talking about when they say that series TV is exhausting and difficult. It all seems wonderfully glamorous when you are watching it, but when you see the dark, cramped sets, and think about how actors are shooting takes over and over again for 12 hours a day, six days a week, you can see how it gets a little tedious. It's not all award ceremonies and red carpets, people. That said, it's not coal-mining or truck-driving either, so my sympathy for successful actors remains limited.

Anyway, after that wonderful hour came to a screeching halt, I was back on the eternal LA highway to return to the Ritz in Pasadena. There, I hung out with the stars of Fox’s My Network TV, which is basically going to be an English-language telenovela network for TV stations. The young stars of these shows are, like The CW pages, the hottest people I’ve ever seen. One of them is a supermodel on the side! Hanging with them makes me feel like there’s some other planet where they grow much more attractive people than they do on this planet where I live. Or vice versa. Either way, I don’t think we are members of the same species.

Also in attendance – Morgan Fairchild and Bo Derek. I chatted a bit with Bo and while I’m sure she’s amply Botoxed, she is gorgeous and tiny. She may be the planetary mother of this other species about which I was just talking.

My night ended with dinner at the Ritz with the NBC PR corps, which was delightful and relaxing.

Tom Skerrit: Is He or Isn't He?

Tom Skerrit’s apparently not really in ABC’s Brothers & Sisters, but he still managed to pervade the show panel on Wednesday afternoon.

Most of this crowd has not seen the pilot of Brothers & Sisters, which looked great from the clip they showed, because they keep retooling and recasting it, and failing to put out a final episode. In the clip, Skerrit falls into the pool and his fate is not clear. So it was reasonable to wonder whether Skerrit, as the father of five brothers and sisters, would appear further in the show. Skerrit did not appear on the huge 14-person panel, indicating that perhaps his performance is just a cameo. And the show’s executive producers were very sketchy about whether to expect more Skerrit in the fall. When asked where Skerrit was, they said, “he’s working on a movie.”

This went on for quite a while until finally one intrepid reporter checked the ABC media site and read the following: “When the family gathers to celebrate a birthday, what they don’t know is that tonight the family patriarch will die.” This met with much laughter, and also seemed to settle the question.

Still, the question of Tom Skerrit remains unanswered. The web site no longer describes the show that way, and the press release about the show mentions both father and mother equally so maybe Skerrit is going to be a regular cast member. The producers did say repeatedly that the pilot had changed significantly.

Anyway, when the cast was asked “which member of the family will provide the comic relief?” (This was actually a much sillier question in practice, asked by the same reporter who asks most of the silly questions), the creator/EP said “Tom Skerrit.”

Raccoons Take Over TV

In another example of the genius of the TV critic, the apparent star of ABC’s Men in Trees is Elvis the Raccoon. Elvis makes an appearance in the pilot as the destroyer of an ill-fated wedding dress, which is in Alaska for specious reasons anyway. The best part of this is that later in the scene, Elvis the Raccoon is played by a stunt double, Boomer the Terrier, who wears a raccoon costume as he runs down the stairs. Yes, I did just say that a terrier is wearing a raccoon costume in a primetime television program. Just in case you were wondering, Elvis and Boomer were both local hires. And although Elvis is nocturnal, he graciously agreed to work during the day. Elvis has at least a two-episode deal for the show, creator and showrunner Jenny Bicks revealed during the Wednesday afternoon session.

As B&C's Ben Grossman points out: When the panel starts focusing on the animal actors, you know the show has no chance. (See Ben's work at http://www.bcbeat.com, a blog sponsored by my corporate alma mater.)

Seriously, these are the things these people ask. And my absolutely favorite question: “For everyone in the cast, please tell us what character you play and describe him or her.” Even though watching the pilot or even just reading the fat binder each network helpfully provides would immediately clarify for this for you, moron reporter, without wasting our time with your horrendous question that you keep repeating during every single panel session.

I’m not alone in my hostility. After the third time this same moron reporter did this, about 50 other reporters groaned in unison.

Press Tour, Day Five: Charming Charlie

I feel like it’s taken me until now to get into the swing of press tour. I’ve asked a question in every panel this morning (which requires seriously fighting for voice time while figuring out which side of ballroom you are on from the perspective of the stage. This is hard for someone with a bit of directional dyslexia like me) and I’m getting better about the schmoozing and chasing down people after panels (chased down Donal Logue today and Ben Silverman yesterday, among others). After you cover Congress, you learn how to fight your way to the front of the press scrum like a pro (even if you are a short girl like me) and apparently it’s a skill you never forget.

This morning started with a panel with new ABC World News Anchor Charlie Gibson, who was available via satellite from Cypress, where the U.S. military is conducting an “assisted departure” of American citizens as opposed to an evacuation, Charlie said. The big news from this panel was that they are changing the name from – stop the presses! – ABC World News Tonight to ABC World News with Charles Gibson. The difference, in case you didn’t pick up on it, is that World News is now available all the time via podcast, webcast and every other kind of cast, so it’s not World News TONIGHT but World News All the Time. But that was a little long and obvious, I guess. Some intrepid reporter also took up microphone time by asking why it’s with CHARLES Gibson and not Charlie Gibson, which is what everyone calls him. OK, true, but do we really care? In any case, the answer is that he signs his check Charles and he’s officially and legally Charles. Good that we’ve got that important issue settled.

Still, I was really impressed with ole Charlie. He managed to be charming and charismatic even via satellite, which is no easy feat. One of my NY Post editors (and I’m gaining more and more of those the longer I work with them) said that an old friend of his, Shelby Coffey, who started the Washington Post’s Style section, once said that it takes someone special to jump through the camera and make you feel like s/he is your friend and Charlie Gibson is one of those. That’s why Charlie, et al (Katie Couric) gets the big bucks. That’s actually totally true. Oprah is the queen of this. She’s all into big issues and she’s smart and all that, but what she really gets paid for is her ability to make every woman in America think she’s her best friend, all through the cold lense of the camera. It’s no easy feat, especially considering that many of these people (Oprah and Katie among them) are known for being nothing like their onscreen personas backstage.

Charlie sort of answered one of my longstanding questions: What the hell do anchors do other than read the news off the teleprompter? I still think that’s mostly what they do, but he argued that anchors should travel to foreign places – like Cypress and Jerusalem – during international crises because of the perspective they can gain, contacts they can meet, and the immediacy that all gives to the nightly newscasts. He said all that while being sure to credit the bureau chiefs that actually are doing the reporting and know what they are talking about, so I think that was a realistic answer.

He also talked about the perception that he is politically neutral, and then discussed what he thinks is the biggest political problem of the day: Congressional districts that are gerrymandered so as to assure a win for a political party. The fact that both sides do this (it’s also known as redistricting and it’s the practice of redrawing the boundaries so that a district mostly covers Rs or Ds) sort of evens it out, in my book, but I think he’s right that the country’s too polarized and that this is mostly due to political engineering.

“The thing that really fascinates and worries me, is how deeply divided we are,” he said. Last election, only two states flipped. We’ve gotten ourselves into a situation where there are very few states in play or in the middle. The disappearance of the political middle in this country worries me.”

He was really passionate on this point, which was good to see, and better than listening to Katie’s press-release soundbites on every single topic.

Finally, he said that about 122,000 people will probably run for president in 2008 because it’s the most wide-open election since the 1920s. True. Besides Hilary Clinton, name one Democrat that you think has any kind of shot at the nomination next year. And besides John McCain, who doesn’t actually have a shot, name an R. So there you have it.

For all you smut-heads out there who have not the faintest idea what I’m talking about with all this political mumbo jumbo, my apologies. I’ll return to my regular schedule of entertainment babble with my next entry.

Press Tour, Day Four: Life Isn't Fair

My hobnobbing Monday night was limited to PR guys/friends, one Warner Bros. executive and an old friend from the Washington Post. Oh and sushi. The best part was the whole conversation devolved into what it always devolves into: What is the deal with Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes’ baby? Someone here suggested they’ve failed to find one that looks enough like either of them. So I wasn’t such the social butterfly last night. Tonight I’m going to a friend’s for dinner so again no famous people on the docket.

Anyhoo, today’s been a little news free, but I did watch what I consider the best pilot I’ve seen so far: Ugly Betty. The show is an adaptation of Betty La Fea, which Salma Hayek and Ben Silverman purchased and turned into a series. It stars America Herrerra, who also starred in Real Women Have Curves, and America turns in what I’ve heard people call a courageous performance. I’m not sure what that means, but she does a great job – you relate to her and root for her and feel like the Ugly Betty title is a little unfair. (Salma, who is very ugly by the way – not, assured us that the title is meant to be sarcastic.)

The show, at least the pilot, is a great deal like The Devil Wears Prada, including some very similar plot lines. But while Anne Hathaway starts out a little bit preppy but still pretty, Betty’s got a lot further to go, including braces, horrendous eyebrows, terrible glasses and fashion choices that will shock even the most fashion-challenged. And Ugly Betty lets its characters go way over the top, unlike Meryl Streep’s understated performance in Prada. Vanessa Williams’ assistant is this stereotypical over-the-top gay man, but he’s pretty hilarious.

(Question from the audience to Vanessa Williams, who plays the show’s villainess: “Who would win in a total bitch fight – you or Meryl? Vanessa’s response, flexing her biceps: “Me, have you seen these guns?” Later, executive producer Ben Silverman confirmed that they were looking for the “fiercest bitch they could find,” and Vanessa fit the bill. She looks good but a little worked over, I have to say.)

Per usual, some of these critics are asking some shockingly ridiculous questions. One asked Vanessa: “Since you are pretty much the complete opposite of Betty, being so beautiful and all, do you find anything in her at all to relate to?” Vanessa’s response, after being visibly offended: “I’m 43, and you know as well as anyone that I’ve had some things happen to me.” Such as the discovery of nudie pics that robbed her of her Miss USA or America or whatever crown and the break-up of her marriage to LA Laker Rick Fox.

Here’s another awesome question: “Last year, you missed the South Beach panel due to a supposed death in the family. Was that just UPN’s excuse since they had already pulled the plug on the show?”

Vanessa: “Thank you for mentioning my father.”

So if you thought you had to be particularly smart or sensitive to be a TV critic, think no further. Many of them certainly aren’t doing too much thinking.

A surprise to me was the Help Me Help You panel, which stars Ted Danson as a group therapist whose own life isn’t running all that smoothly. The cast was generally cracking themselves – and us – up. I watched half the pilot during a break and I was laughing out loud. In one scene, the Asian girl with no social skills tells the man she met on J-Date that she dates Jewish men because she’s not threatened by them because she’s not attracted to them. Unfortunately, the pilot slows down in the second half, so we’ll see how the show goes.

My ABC day wrapped up with a panel on Daybreak, featuring Taye Diggs as a detective who must relive the worst day of his life – in Groundhog Day fashion – until he figures out who is trying to frame him. The show will take Lost’s place as it goes on hiatus from late November to early February. As a colleague of mine said, “I would pretty much watch him eat a bowl of cereal.” I agree, but this show looks like an endless drag. I myself don’t want to live the same day over and over again, why would I want to watch 13 episodes of it? Still, Taye assures us the show's not tediously boring: “I’m Taye Diggs,” he said, “why would I sign on for that?”

I could say, well, Kevin Hill, but that show started out good and went downhill. And in Taye’s case, the arrogance is warranted.

On a final note, I was saying to the same aforementioned colleague how unfair it is that people like Taye, Salma Hayek, Vanessa Williams and Sofia Vergara (she’s on Knights of Prosperity and she’s like the hottest person in the world. I’m not kidding. Check her out at www.sofiavergara.com so you can agree with me) are not only ridiculously, unworldly gorgeous, but they are also funny and smart and ambitious and talented. Taye (and Vanessa) can sing, for God’s sake. Salma executive produced an Oscar-nominated film (and she’s funny). Sofia is hilarious and has her own clothing line. I just think that God-given gifts should be more evenly distributed.

But as my colleague pointed out: “Life’s not fair.” And he’s right. Sigh.

Rob and Amber just keep on coming

Seriously, how do these people keep getting TV shows? Besides their own "Newlyweds" type show, god forbid, Rob just a gig hosting some sci-fi mystery show on Sci Fi. If they get to have two shows on TV, really everyone should have their own show. But I think there's a reason why people live in houses and don't broadcast every part of their lives -- there's some things that no one needs to share.

From Variety:

"News Corp. cable network Fox Reality is ramping up production on originals, greenlighting its first docudrama series -- "The Rob and Amber Project."

Channel has ordered up 10 half-hours, which will follow married reality TV stars Rob and Amber Mariano, former participants on both "Survivor" and "The Amazing Race."

Linda Ellman and Rob George are exec producers.

After having been wed on CBS in 2005, the Marianos are looking to grow their reality show winnings. Specifically Rob wants to take up professional poker. Fox Reality series would follow the couple's move to Las Vegas and Rob's attempts to break into professional gambling, while Amber does her best to be supportive in the risky venture.

Fox Reality general manager David Lyle said "Rob and Amber" has several things working for it that would appeal to the channel's reality-crazed audience.

"We've grown up with Rob and Amber. We've seen their first kiss on 'Survivor' and watched their wedding. They're likeable and competitive," Lyle said. "What Rob's trying to do now, it's probably every guy's dream and every girl's nightmare."

Production is under way for a January premiere.

Elsewhere on the original front, Fox Reality has set for December "My Bare Lady," a competish in which U.S. porn stars travel to London and attempt to start acting careers on the West End stage. Lyle said a decision on a second season of gameshow "Solitary" will come next week. Series' season finale airs Monday."

Press tour, Day Three: Bloggity Blog Blog

Ok, I was just reading the blog of TV Guide’s Michael Ausiello (http://community.tvguide.com/forum.jspa?forumID=700000049), and while I find him funny, at least I am not journaling my pee breaks. I initially wrote “and lunch menus,” but then I realized that yesterday I talked about breakfast, lunch and dinner, so let’s let go of the notion that I am not obsessed with food because I most certainly am.

That said, Rachael Ray’s mini-burgers at lunch yesterday were not that great, not to mention that they were hard to acquire what with the line and the constant running out of food. As I previously mentioned, however, the chocolate macadamia tarts were outstanding. I also stopped by Trader Joe’s (my FAVORITE) and picked up some interesting snacks, including soy and flax seed tortilla chips, naam yogurt and dill chips and chili-spiced dried mango. How much do I love TJ’s? Let me count the ways. I so wish they were in Boulder. If TJ’s would just come to the Front Range, then it would be the absolutely perfect place. I heard they were supposed to come to 29^th Street, but Wild Oats won out with the proposal to build a 35,000 square foot massive store. As all those who know me know, I LOVE grocery stores (we’re still on food) so it’s all good by me.

Anyhoo, these sessions in the ballroom are hilarious because now we have Wi-Fi and its like the best thing ever. Everyone is furiously typing through every session, blogging, emailing, taking notes. Anything but listening as far as I can tell. It's great though, because I can sit in session after session and check email and be in touch with the outside world instead of sitting here fretting about what I’m missing during the boring bits. And those are many.

Today was The CW, which is the squnched-together child (note the made-up words, I can do that because I’m blogging) of The WB and UPN. It basically feels like The WB with a lot of CBS people hanging around. So mostly it was a lot of blah blah blah except for the two following things.

First, apparently the new showrunner of the Gilmore Girls, David Rosenthal, was an obsessed stalker of Heidi Klum in a former life. Check out the details here: http://www.defamer.com/hollywood/gilmore-girls/new-gilmore-girls-showrunner-was-heidi-klums-1-fan-169246.php.

So when this very odd reporter from The National Post asked, essentially: “So, what was the deal with that whole Heidi Klum thing,” the response was extremely curt, as you can imagine. “Um, I’m not here to talk about my personal life,” Rosenthal said. Added Lauren Graham, who plays Lorelai Gilmore on the show, “We’re not talking about that. Next question.” It added quite a hostile touch to the panel, which was already a little bit rocky because the show’s creators and executive producers, Amy Sherman Palladino and Dan Palladino failed to negotiate a multi-year deal with Warner Bros. that they could live with and exited the show this spring. I don’t know how many of you watch it, but Gilmore Girls is a show with a very definite patter, and I expect the Palladinos’ departure will affect the show much like Aaron Sorkin’s departure affected The West Wing. In my opinion, these shows become something else when their original creator exits the building. Graham and Alexis Bledel, who plays her daughter Rory, were confident that the show would fare well under the new stalker leadership, but the critics weren’t so sure.

What’s more, while refusing to say anything bad about the Palladinos, Graham was pretty clear that the old regime was a bit of a dictatorship and that she’s liking the openness of the new regime. That is, until she starts being stalked. Just in case you were wondering, by the way, both Graham and Bledel are more gorgeous in person than on TV, if that’s even possible.

Chris Rock and Jada Pinkett-Smith provided the star power on a panel about The CW’s Sunday night African-American comedies, but the real stand-out, in my humble opinion, was Ali LeRoi, the real executive producer and showrunner of Everybody Hates Chris. When asked how Sunday Night Football was going to affect viewership of his show, he said: “I recommend that people stop watching football because it promotes gratuitous violence in our society. Instead, you should sit down with yhour family and watch family programs, which will promote a better, stronger nation.”

Later, the critics couldn’t stop asking about diversity on primetime TV and the lack thereof, especially the inability of the broadcast networks to successfully launch a black drama. After the panel brushed the question off many times, LeRoi finally laid it on the line: “At the end of the day, dude, you got to sell some soap. If you don’t sell some soap, the executives don’t care about you. Black drama, schmack drama. If you don’t want to deal with network executives, go write a book.”

But I don’t want to suggest that Rock wasn’t funny too. His response to this question, which was posed in the session for the last time by an earnest black reporter: “Do you ever think your life is going to be as good as white people? Give that one up already.”

Rock and LeRoi ended up giving shout-outs to Lost’s J.J. Abrams and Grey’s Anatomy’s Shonda Rhimes, both of whom populate their casts with people of all colors: “Shows like Grey’s are the model, HBO’s The Wire is the model. J.J. Abrams has done a fantastic job of involving different people in his show,” Le Roi said. “Except for Oz, that’s a black drama. Don’t cast a white guy on Oz.”

For those of you who have no clue what he’s talking about here, Oz was this violent prison drama on HBO in which lots of murderers tried to live and love together in a federal prison. Needless to say, there were lots of bad breakups between the inmates, which often ended in stabbing and other violent deaths.

Tonight is The CW party, which involves hobnobbing with lots of these people. I’m not sure how much I care, although I will say Donnie Wahlberg was incredibly smart and articulate on his panel this morning about new show, Runaway. So maybe I will deign to put down my drink for a minute and talk to him. Oh wait, what’s that you say, I am in Pasadena to talk to actors, not stand to the side drinking and making fun of them? Hmmmm.

Off the subject, while I spent the entire day ensconced in this air-conditioned hotel ballroom, apparently the President said “shit” on television today. That’s excellent. I wonder if FCC Chairman Kevin Martin, a Bush appointee, will fine him for indecency.

Press Tour, Day Two: It's Hot Here in LA

Day two started with an omelet buffet and CBS bragging about a promotion in which they inscribe advertising messages on eggs.

Yes, that’s what I said. Soon, you will be advertised to while making your morning scrambled eggs, if you are actually able to read at that hour. Learn more at: http://www.nytimes.com/2006/07/17/business/media/17adco.html

We then listened to Katie Couric say absolutely nothing for an hour, after the omelet-making set off the fire alarms and made everything start a bit late. I think it’s ironic that journalist Couric gave some of the most vague and non-insightful answers I’ve ever heard. If she was on the other side of those answers, like most of the journalists here have been, she would have thrown her mike at her subject. That makes me wonder how much of a “journalist” Katie is, and how much she’s just a pretty, relatable face that successfully reads the news (all the time – on TV, radio, Internet – anywhere you are, she can be, in a sort of scary Big-Brotherish media development). She really did look great though.

The rest of the day was mostly famous-person free. I missed the Rachel Ray panel because I was filing, but I did eat some of her food for lunch, and it was mostly nothing great, although the chocolate macademia tarts were spectacular. The rest of the day comprised a panel on digital initiatives (yawn) and one on CSI, on which I bailed.

Sunday night I departed the world of TV, and returned to earth, having dinner in Santa Monica with my cousin and my visiting aunt. Margaritas and ocean views for everyone! We went to Gilbert’s El Indio on W. Pico (http://www.gilbertselindio.com/) and of course my cousin Birkleigh knew the manager. She’s such a funny girl.

TV Critics Press Tour in Pasadena, Day One: The Odyssey Begins

TV Critics Press Tour in Pasadena, Day One

Arrived in LA today. All went well – got to the airport at the exact right time, walked right on to the plane, landed early, my giant bag was first off the carousel, walked right on to the rental car shuttle. I was rocking and expecting to start my ten-day TV odyssey early and relaxed.

Alas, this was not to be. I exited the rental car shuttle to find a line of epic proportions awaiting me. It took TWO HOURS to get my car at Budget (extremely hostile letter to the corporation to follow), with the line winding around the corner and extending on into infinity. I read half of The Red Tent during this wait, which was actually sort of pleasant. I’m rereading it again for Book Club and it’s just as good the second time around. Thank god I had a book or I would have gone postal like the ANNOYING jappy girl behind me, who never got off the phone or stopped talking about how horrible it was that she had to wait more than 30 seconds for the entire hour-and-a-half she and her boyfriend stood behind me. Finally, mercifully, someone came by in a Mercedes and whisked them away, never to annoy me again.

When I got up to the counter at Budget, one of the CSRs kept making irritating announcements, like “don’t take our your frustrations on us, it’s a company problem,” and I was like, “who the hell else do you expect us to complain to?” Hence, hostile letter to follow.

Once I finally got my zippy little red car with radio controls on the steering wheel, I took Sepulveda to the 105 to the 110 (because we like to talk like that about highways in LA) to the Ritz Carlton in Pasadena, which is a very lovely place and convinces you that you should definitely live in Southern California, even after the drive there convinces you that you never even visit the place, unless there’s some way to never drive anywhere ever. All roads lead to a traffic jam in LA. But Pasadena is sort of a different story – clean, lovely, wealthy, flowered – it’s really quite appealing.

I did make it to the Ritz in time to attend my first panel session, which was on the hour-long heist drama Smith, starring Ray Liotta. I had just watched the pilot last Thursday night, and found it slow, and at least one executive-type person at CBS agreed with me. The pilot, about a group of thieves that conduct the most violent heists network TV has ever seen, should have been fast and snappy. Instead, it was slow, plodding and humorless. And also hugely expensive, as all involved admit. The pilot runs 60 full minutes, and CBS plans to either premiere it 90 minutes or commercial-free (I expect 90 minutes), and the cast is about as high end as it gets, with Liotta, Sideways and Prairie Home Companion’s Virginia Madsen, House of Sand and Fog and 24’s Shohreh Aghdashloo, The Devil Wears Prada and The Guardian’s Simon Baker and Amy Smart, who is much, much smaller in person that she seems on TV. She’s looked tall in everything I’ve seen her in, but she’s possibly shorter than I am. There’s a lot of actors who when I see them I wonder how they broke in to the business. For example, How I Met Your Mother and Buffy’s Alyson Hannigan was in attendance and she’s just a tiny little average looking thing, but she gets a fair amount of attention wherever she goes.

Anyway, I digress, which I’m sure I’ll be doing a lot of. All the suits at CBS and Warner Bros. are thrilled to death regarding Smith, but when we watched it at a sparsely attended pilot night/aka Paige’s personal TV focus group, we were all more like bored to death. Those 60 minutes wore on, let me tell you. And when things are blowing up and paintings are getting stolen, being bored is the kiss of death in my book.

I missed the panels on Shark, starring James Woods, who showed up at CBS’s party at the Rose Bowl with his girlfriend, who appears to be about 40 years younger than he is and I do not exaggerate, and on Jericho and The Class. Which is too bad because I actually watched all those pilots.

Shark was better than I thought it would be, although someone asked me at the Rose Bowl how much coke I thought Woods was doing, and I have to say a fair amount. My more reasonable comment when I watched it is that movie actors are often too big for TV, and I think that’s really true with Woods. He comes off as manic in certain scenes of this show (and apparently during the panel as well). His 16-year-old daughter in the show, played by a gorgeous up-and-coming 21-year-old actress named Danielle Panabaker, looks older than his current blondie girlfriend. This is why I love Hollywood! But only to visit.

A lot of people said they liked Jericho, starring Skeet Ulrich and Gerald McRaney. Skeet looks AWFUL by the way – he’s already dried up and wrinkly and he has the weirdest vibe -- we chatted very briefly about the Budweiser we were drinking at the Rose Bowl bar. Anyway, my friends were all reading magazines during the Jericho pilot, which will have a separate plot running online as well, a la Lost, which is sort of interesting.

Finally, I personally hated The Class, CBS’s only comedy, finding the script silly and contrived and not funny.

In a non-glamour note, I’m staying at the Travelodge in Pasadena and it’s so white trash. It’s also cheap as dirt, which explains things, but it’s clean and cool and a place to shower and sleep so it’s all good. Would I rather be at the Ritz? Hell yes, but for the price the Travelodge is fine. And it has a fridge so I can store all the chocolate goodies the networks foist on us. Maybe I’ll put some fruit in there too in an attempt to be healthy.

For people who like this sort of thing, here’s the “famous” people I saw yesterday, besides the aforementioned ones: Numbers Rob Morrow, Cold Case’s Danny Pino (so cute), Charlie Sheen without new girlfriend (who went to highschool with a friend of mine) or visible restraining order, Jennifer Love Hewitt and her very average looking boyfriend, Rent, Prada and Cold Case’s Traci Thoms (who also is tiny and young, and she looks larger and older and more imposing on screen), CSI: New York’s Gary Sinise (also a slight man), The Unit and 24’s Dennis Haysbert, Scrubs and The Unit’s Scott Foley (and his non Jennifer Garner girlfriend, who was in NBC’s Heist) and CBS Chairman Leslie Moonves and his beautiful wife Julie Chen (also host of The Early Show and Big Brother). There also were a lot of minor stars wandering around, but a lot of them I didn’t really know. Like the cast of How I Met Your Mother – I’ve got no clue who those people are.

Oh, and I chatted with David Krumholtz, who stars with Rob Morrow on Numbers and plays Mr. Universe in Serenity, which is the movie I saw the night before I left for LA. It was funny to see him in a movie one minute and then in front of me the next. He is SHORT. (And so is Rob Morrow.)

Dominguez Waterfall

This is where I took my one and only shower of the weekend, so I was highly appreciative of this location. We camped nearby, and it was cool to hear the water all night long. Showers under waterfalls are great, but also freezing and kind of painful. The sacrifices I am willing to make for clean hair! 

Dominguez Canyon -- where we camped

Typical me spent a whole weekend doing something really cool and took not one picture of the event. My excuses are as follows: 1) my camera was not accessible to me in the tippy canoe and 2) I looked like ass (as the above picture will attest. Well, actually, no it won't because I chickened out and didn't post it) and so was not as enthusiastic about photo-taking as I may have otherwise been. That said, it's not all about me so I could have taken pictures of other things besides my unattractive self. Anyway, I didn't, so I'm relying on the charity of others for the photos I do have.

This is a shot of where we camped on the last night, which was really cool. We sailed through red canyons all weekend, explaining where Colorado got its name "color red." I thought that floating in a canoe all weekend would be really relaxing and lazy, but turns out that's not really true. It was very fun, but it was a lot of loading and unloading, setting up and taking down, and so forth. Still, once you get into camping, there's nothing like being outside for days at a time.

Because I love space

This is a picture of Titan, one of Saturn's moons as it peeks out behind Saturn's rings. The photo was taken from the scientific space craft Cassini, which shot the picture from about 1.1 million miles away. For more information about the Cassini-Huygens mission, visit http://www.nasa.gov/cassi

While this is sort of a random post, it's relevant because what I really want to post about is my float trip down the Gunnison River. We had a great trip and one of the coolest things was the night sky. When you that far out of civilization and that high up, you can really see some amazing stars and I so loved it.

Anyway, enjoy this for now and soon I will post all about floating the Gunnison. I was a canoe champion!

Lost bids good-bye for summer and I miss it already

Ah TV. How I hate it, yet how I love it.

In my opinion, this was a great year for season finales: Grey’s Anatomy, The Office and now Lost. And I love the trend of super-sizing the finales. I know it’s a ton of work for the producers, but how awesome was a three-hour Grey’s or a two-hour Lost or even a 40-minute Office? I can’t complain.

The one finale that I thought sucked was Will & Grace. A) I don’t want to imagine them old and B) I don’t want to imagine them not being friends for 20 years and C) having their kids get together in the end, much like Will and Grace themselves did, is retarded, as is the idea of Jack and Karen living together, as is their stupid duet of “Unforgettable,” which I believe should be looked at as a “next phase of my career” demo tape. Lame.

Anyway, let’s talk a little Lost, shall we? People who don’t watch this show need read no further because you will have no idea what the heck I’m talking about.

The show has gotten even more unbelievably complicated, something I think that J.J. Abrams and crew cannot avoid despite themselves (see Alias for confirmation). I love that the show is complicated and deep and messy and unexpected, but it’s not a great tactic for winning new fans or keeping old ones who feel they can’t pop back in if they miss a few episodes. The age of the DVR is helping that scenario, but with only 10% of TV households using DVRs, producers shouldn’t really be counting on that factor to preserve their shows.

Now on to the part where I act like the characters in this show are real people: I have to say that I agreed with Jack and then Locke that the whole pushing the button thing was utter crap, but now we learn that in fact, it’s the whole deal. Now that Desmond has gone to the measure of last resort and used the “system failure” key, where does that leave us for next season? Is the magic of the island that healed Locke’s legs, cured Rose’s cancer and got Sun pregnant now off? And where are Locke and Eko – fighting it out in the hatch?

More unanswered questions: Are Jack, Kate and Sawyer going to go live with The Others? For how long? And who the hell are these people? Are they in fact “the good guys,” as non-Henry Gale said they were? I am proud to say that I always thought Henry Gale was the leader and I was right about at least one thing.

Finally, did Michael and Walt really get away? It’s possible because Harold Perrineau is not signed on a season regular next year. While his return is not ruled out either, it looks like murdering Michael made a clean getaway for now.

Just as I expected, the finale opened more questions than it answered, but it did answer some very important questions, like “why did the plane crash?” and that was a big one. Overall, I thought it was a better season finale than last year’s.

While I was savoring every minute of "Lost," it looks like most of the rest of America was watching Taylor Hicks finally take the "American Idol" crown that should have been Chris Daughtry's. I know it’s a big deal, I know 500 million people voted, I know it’s the highest-rated show on TV, but still, yawn.

In a totally irrelevant, non-TV aside -- I’m going on a float trip (traveling in canoes, camping on the shore, drinking beer -- good times!) down the Gunnison River this weekend, which should be a blast. Blog on that next week.

Have a great Memorial Day weekend! It’s one of my faves – first weekend of summer, a day off and no presents to buy.

Yes, I haven't posted since Halloween

It's crazy how fast time flies and I've posted -- well, nothing. And not at Jack Myers either. This is good, because I've been muy busy with work, but bad in terms of keeping up with the bloggers. Anyway, I'm still not really posting, but doing some minimal updating. I also am trying to get my business web site up at Jumpcliff Press.

Here's a clip from my "comment of the moment" on Jumpcliff that I just posted. Somehow I'm going to get these two sites to work in tandem:

The Grey's Anatomy Finale

The first thing you have to know is that I am obsessed with this show. And I've written like ten stories on it, including about five cover stories for the NY Post, so I feel like my obsession is legitimate and profitable.

So let's talk about the finale.

In a word: Awesome.

Total soap opera, totally ridiculous from the POV of my friend Quinn, but still awesome. It had everything you wanted in a three-freakin'-hour finale. Drama, death, sex, ambiguity, hysteria. Katherine Heigl (empathetic intern surgical Izzie Stevens) deserves an Emmy. Ellen Pompeo (Meredith Grey) deserves me switching places with her so I can live forever suspended between hot Chris O'Donnell and hotter Patrick Dempsey (who I've interviewed twice, by the way) with the potential of possibly encountering supernova hot Mark "McSteamy" Sloan again in the ever-after.

OK, so I'm crushing on the men on this show like a teenage girl, but tell me a woman who isn't? Only the ones without televisions in my opinion.

My DVR is going to be on fire on Thursday nights this fall, recording Grey's. Hopefully Aaron Sorkin's new show, Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip, sucks or is moved to Wednesdays because no matter when Grey's is on, I'm watching.

New blog!

I have a new blog at Jack Myers' Media Village, where I'm blogging, well, supposedly daily, but we'll see how it goes because if you check out this site you know I'm pretty slow about it. My blog is called TV Diva Talks Back, because sadly I couldn't think of anything better, and I'm basically going to just chat about the TV news of the day and anything else that comes to my mind. I'm also supposed to be running a forum on the site: Talk Back with TV Diva, so we'll see if anyone starts participating. I get compensated based on traffic, so I guess I should get to marketing!

Cassini flies by Saturn's moon Dione

 
 

Even though I typically write about inane things such as TV shows and celebrity gossip, I've also always thought exploring space would be really cool. I even considered becoming an astronomer (not astrologer, although I've considered that too) but then I realized I would have to do physics and that wasn't going to work. That's why I went into writing, and even then sometimes I have to do math. Don't these people get the fact that if I could do math, I would be doing something that paid a lot better?

Anyway, here's the link to the Jet Propulsion Lab in Pasadena's Cassini home page. It's a great place for wanna-be astronomers to hang out and regret that physics eludes them.

Amateur astrologers, go here: Susan Miller's Astrology Zone. It's a fave of all the people I know who have an unhealthy obsession with astrology.

More bragging and shameless self-promotion

 

Adewale on the cover of the New York Post's TV Week 

I do love to brag, but mostly I just want people to see the cover photo of this week's TV Week because it is so hilarious, especially if you are a fan of Lost. I wrote three stories for last week's edition, and the cover photo of Adewale blah blah blah (I still can't spell this guy's name even though I wrote a whole thing about him) is the best thing ever (well, besides Google Earth. And maybe Baked Ruffles). Other stories in the issue: one on the gorgeous Jaime Pressly, starring in NBC's My Name is Earl, who was the world's biggest pain in the ass to get on the phone, but it was completely her non-existent, non-working publicist's fault, and NBC agrees with me; and one on the equally gorgeous and actually very articulate Jennifer Love Hewitt, who is starring in CBS's Ghost Whisperer.

Added bonus on the Love interview -- I got to also talk to James Van Praagh, who is a famous medium and also the creator and exec producer of GW. He was so interesting, even if you think that stuff is total bunk, which I don't. I'm a total sucker for all that stuff!

Anyway, he said that since I'm a Scorpio with Pisces Moon that I'm super-intuitive and should become a medium myself. I actually think that would be really cool, if I could see or talk or sense any dead people. But since I have trouble communicating with real live people, maybe I should just work on those skills and leave the crossing-over stuff to others.

Google Earth is the coolest thing in the world!

Get your own copy at earth.google.com. You can fly from Boulder to New York and then watch yourself zoom into the canyons of Manhattan. You can visit the Forbidden City of China and check out the temples, and then zip over to see the Great Wall. You can even fly to Aspen, click on the "restaurants" tab and see all the good places to eat and where they are located. Seriously, go check it out!

OK, I'm easily amused. Plus anything to avoid working!

I'm confused

OK, I give up. Maybe I was totally wrong. Maybe all that jumping up and down on Oprah's couch really was Tom Cruise in love. In any case, after a barrage of hot Hollywood gossip today -- skankmeister Lindsay Lohan crashes AGAIN supposedly evading the ever-present paparazzi, and Nick and Jessica really are splitting up -- this little nugget comes out.

Now my cynical little head is spinning -- did they actually have sex or is this just Cruise trying to put to rest the rumors that he's infertile, hence adopting children with Nicole? (Watch for her pregnancy announcement soon.) Even though it seemed like the world's most obvious PR stunt, are they actually in love? Or do people actually go so far as to produce children in the name of publicity?

That seems like the most cynical thing of all time to me, so I might have to switch all my negative thinking and go with "in love." Because if these two got pregnant as yet another way to maintain Cruise's image, they are definitely on the fast track to hell.

And here's the lamest thinking of all on my part: Why couldn't Katie just stick with fellow Dawson's cutie, Joshua Jackson? He's adorable and he's not a crazy scientologist. Granted, he's also not the world's top movie star, but I for one still love his boyish charm.

LOS ANGELES (AFP) - Hollywood megastar Tom Cruise and his fiancee of six months Katie Holmes are expecting a baby. The "Mission Impossible" and "Top Gun" star's publicist and sister, Lee Anne DeVette, told People magazine that 26-year-old actress Holmes is pregnant with the couple's first child. "Tom and Katie are very excited, and the entire family is very excited," DeVette was quoted as saying. Cruise, 43, and Holmes, who was virtually unknown before starring in this year's "Batman Begins," first said they were dating just six months ago and announced their engagement at a press conference in Paris in June. DeVette could not be reached by AFP at the time of reporting.