Wednesday, September 22, 2004

True Life: I'm obsessed with a six-year-old MTV show

Anna Nicole Smith "lookalike" at a trade show in LA. Posted by Hello

OK, MTV's True Life has been on the air since 1998, but I'm just now becoming obsessed. That's how not teen pop culture I am. This morning, while actually trying to find Charmed on TNT with absolutely no luck, I again wandered upon True Life (harken back several posts ago for the first reference). In today's episode, three people are living double lives and priding themselves on the fact that "nobody knows."

Note to people who say they are living a double life yet are simultaneously shooting a documentary for MTV: This is a surefire way to blow your cover.

Of course, by the end of the show, all three people had actually blown their cover, and maybe that was the point. The three in question were Chris, a gay guy who acted straight half the time and thought he had his best friends fooled; Mitch, an amateur adult-industry entrepreneur who had two girlfriends unbeknownst to either of them; and Jeannine, above, who looks enough like Anna Nicole Smith to fool the stupid tourists in Hollywood.

What's so excellent about documentaries like these is that they are like very subtle reality shows in that the joke is completely on the subjects, but the stories are so factually laid out that no one can complain later that they looked like an ass on TV. I think it's called "hanging yourself with your own rope."

Chris was so blatantly gay that any tuned-in girl worth her salt could have picked him up miles away. Drunk, insecure girls seemed ignorant to his vibe, but I guess when you are 2o and out and wanting nothing more than a guy to hit on you so you can convince yourself that you really are pretty, you aren't all that picky. Chris dropped the gay bomb on best friend Holly by the end of the show. He ended up the surprised one -- she was just wondering when he was finally going to 'fess up.

Mitch was the most interesting one, in my opinion, but that wasn't because he had two girlfriends. It was because A) he was running this amateur porn business out of his house and these cute girls would just show up and get naked. How did he get them to do that? Are cute girls dying to get naked and in front of some hickboy's camera for no real reason? B) He was shocked, shocked that if he had been cheating on his girlfriend, then perhaps she could be cheating on him. It never fails to amuse me how people get caught in their own double standards and then are so upset about it. C) Later, Mitch went up to a gorgeous girl in a bar and told her he needed to pour liquor on her stomach and drink off of it because his girlfriend might be cheating on him. And she just laid down on the nearest table and poured booze all over her belly for him to lick off. Easy as pie. I don't know why Mitch even cared that his girlfriend was cheating on him if it's that simple.

Jeannine had to give up her whole Anna Nicole thing, which most amusingly included her gay assistant, (also named) Chris. Why Chris would be the personal assistant to a big fat sort-of Anna Nicole lookalike is beyond me, but Jeannine got kind of screwed when Anna Nicole lost all sorts of weight taking Trimspa/speed. She decided to return to Long Island and be herself, which was probably the best idea in the first place.

You may be wondering why I have dedicated all this space to this stupid show on MTV. And the answer is: I really have no idea. But admit it, you're hooked now too, right?

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